Heart-Mind-Body-Soul: What's In a Number?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

We all have a Number.

No, I'm not talking about your phone number.  Not your street number.  Not your weight.
It's that one number that most of us don't talk about.  The one we keep in the closet with our secrets. The number we take with us into each new physical relationship we embark on....

...the number of people we've have had sex with.

Some of my friends know their Number, some don't.  While I know exactly what my Number is, I don't disclose it to anyone (besides my doctor).  My best friends know round-about where it is.  Guys have asked before, but I'm not forthcoming with the requested info. It reminds me of a Sex and the City quote by Carrie:

If you're a thirty something woman living in Manhattan, and you refuse to settle and you're sexually active, it's inevitable that you'll rack up a certain number of partners, but how many men is too many men? Are we simply romantically challenged, or, are we sluts?

This brings me back to a previous blog I wrote.  A few of my guy friends boast that their number is in the triple digits.  First off...can we say EWWW?  But the saying goes that whatever Number a guy tells you, divide it in half. Whatever a woman says, double it. So, when is a woman's Number TOO high? 

A new movie coming out at the end of the month, staring the hilarious Anna Faris, titled "What's Your Number?" reintroduces the topic. 

After reading in a magazine that "In America 96% of women
who have been with 20 or more lovers can't find a husband,"
Ana's character Ally looks back at the past twenty men she's had relationships with in her life
and wonders if one of them might be her one true love.

Twenty is the "magic" number in this movie. Do you find Ally's Number high?  I thought it was a pretty accurate assumption for a sexually active, single woman, in her 30s.  But really....does it even matter? 

One of my favorite male bloggers, Tom Miller, seems to think that the actual number doesn't matter, it's your sexual history that DOES. It's what (and who) you did, that counts. A guy cares more about knowing if you've hooked up with one of his boys or that you have a clean medical history.

Tom also mentions that a man and woman's perspective of what is "number worthy" differs.  Your boyfriend's Number may be higher because he considers any "crossing the threshold" to be sex.  I know I only "chalk another one up" if we went all the way.

So...do you know what your Number is? Have you ever lied about it (by either adding to it, or taking a few away)? Is it important to disclose your actual Number to someone you're in a relationship with?  Weigh in.  COMMENT.  I want to hear from you! 

I'm ending this post with a montage of some of the men our Sex and the City girls have been with.  Seems to me their Number didn't phase them!  Have fun, and be safe Loves.


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