Heart-Mind-Body-Soul: Man-tox Time (aka The Removal of Toxic Men)

Detox
(noun) Treatment designed to rid the body of poisonous substances, esp alcohol and drugs.

Reading over the definition, I find the words "poisonous substances" interesting. Are poisonous substances the only thing that you can rid your body of via detoxifying?

This is the second week of my "clean eating" and I have to admit that I'm feeling better. While I know I'm still not drinking enough water, it hasn’t been difficult to stick to eating fruits, veggies, and lean protein. Over the last week I have discovered (or re-discovered):

• How AMAZING summer fruits and veggies are.
• Cooking for one is ultimately really rewarding, but also a little depressing.
• Gazpacho while delicious is really just like eating a big bowl of pico de gallo.
LOOK FOR A YUMMY RECIPE FOR GAZPACHO THIS SATURDAY.
• It's really not that hard to make good choices while eating at a restaurant.
• When you eliminate the junk in your life, the simple things taste SO much sweeter!!!

It’s that last line that got me thinking about what other “junk” I can remove from my world to help me become a happier, healthier, more whole person. I decided in addition to a food detox, I also needed to do a:

Mantox
(noun) The process which involves removing men or a particular man from one’s life.

For those of you who know me, you know my history of men and relationships. You know that I seem to be perpetually drawn to the bad-boy who; has financial issues, is afraid of commitment is a player, has a huge ego, has a complete charming quality to them, likes to hear themselves talk, and has some “conflict” in their life that “only I” can help them with.

You also know that while I’m fully aware that the relationships I get myself into can be toxic, I continue on even if the outcome leaves me hurt. As a friend of mine said, I ALLOW the guys to take advantage of me.

Those of you who don’t know me, now you’re caught up. :-)

This leads me to my need for a MANTOX. How am I supposed to find the caring, confident, thoughtful, supportive man I deserve to be with if I still surround myself with men who talk big and take until I hurt?

There a few men in my life that I need to remove. The tricky thing about living in a city like Reno is you can never FULLY remove someone because of how small it is (they don’t call it the “Biggest Little City” for nothing). In my case the men on the chopping block are also people I see in the “real-world” so some interaction is inevitable. I realized that while our paths are bound to cross, there is no reason to stay friends with them. There’s a complete difference in being friendly and being a friend.

As part of this mantox, I plan on putting an end to all “interpersonal relationships” with these guys. While I hope that my social interactions won’t be effected, I’m willing to take that risk to better myself. And in the spirit of a true mantoxicification (???) I feel it’s time for a digital removal too. Yes, that’s right…time to delete phone numbers, emails, and most importantly ::gasp:: Facebook! I don’t know what it is, but I hold on to contact information like a hoarder holds on to…well, everything. It’s time to purge it all.

So if you are one of those who are scheduled for deletion, this is your open warning as to why you won’t be hearing from me. I didn’t lose your number, I purposely deleted it.

And in the words of the amazing, talented Taylor Swift (yes, y'all I'm quoting country):

You're a redneck heartbreak, who's really bad at lying.
So watch me strike a match on all my wasted time.
As far as I'm concerned you're just another picture to burn.
Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn!

How FACEBOOK Helped Me Beat WRITER'S BLOCK

Writer's Block.

These two words have had control over my ability to write recently.

It's not like my life has been lacking in interesting events and situations that would make for great blog content. I have been a bit all-consumed with my classes and work...but there has also been some time for fun, time to try new things, and time to continue to grow my "Rolodex" of experiences and stories.

So why have I been unable to write?

I guess one never really knows why or how they slip into a pattern of Writer's Block. What people remember more is what snapped them out of their funk and inspired them to start writing again.

My moment of clarity came to me this morning.  And when I say this morning, I mean EARLY this morning.  For some reason I was suffering from a bout of insomnia.  After lying in bed trying to get back to sleep, I opted to turn on my computer and log into Facebook (I am obsessed after all). 

Though the details are irrelevant, after "playing" on my FB I came across some information that sent daggers into my heart (yes, I'm aware I'm being a bit dramatic) and set a fire in me.  Some of my friends suggested that I use that flame for a confrontation. Not being one who enjoys unneeded drama, I opted to use the fire burning in my soul as fuel to motivate me to get back to writing. The nudge from my friend and fellow-blogger Steph (check out her blog here) was also helpful (THANKS GIRL!!!). 

While I have nothing too profound to say at the moment, I see this just as my warm-up for a marathon of blogging that is on its way.  You see I am officially on Spring Break, which is just another perk of working for the school district (click here to read about some of the other perks). For the next week or so I will have ample time to fill all of you loyal readers in on the roller coaster that I call my life. 

Those who know me, know that I'm a "glass half full" kind of girl.  I'm also a huge fan of the Yiddish (Jewish?) saying, "What seems like a blessing may be a curse.  What seems like a curse, may be a blessing."

In this case I'm thankful for that anonymous Facebook friend for making the choice they did.  It has allowed me to wake up, open my eyes, and rejuvenate me to get back to what I'm focused on and passionate about...my writing.

And with that....my writer's block is no more!

My Year in Review

Each year, TIME Magazine chooses their person of the year.  This person is someone who is influential, has made a difference in the past year, and is someone who is recognized by all.  Past recipients of this award have included Barack Obama (2008), Rudolph Giuliani (2001), Martin Luther King (1963), Queen Elizabeth II (1952), Mohandas Gandhi (1930), and the list goes on. The magazine started choosing their Person of the Year in 1927.

Yesterday, the 2010 TIME Person of the Year was announced.  Was it Julian Assange (the man behind WikiLeaks)?  Nope!  How about Hamid Karzai (the elected leader of the volatile nation of Afghanistan)?  Try again!

The recipient of this year's award is the second-youngest individual ever to be named TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year.  The co-founder of the power-house, social-networking site Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg graces this year's cover.

Mark Zuckerberg, creator of Facebook

 Although some people may question the magazine's selection, I think it couldn't be more appropriate.  Through the creation of Facebook, millions of people world wide are connected.  If that's not amazing, check out these stats:

~ Facebook welcomed its 550 millionth member this month ~

~ One out of every dozen people on the planet has a Facebook account ~

~ The webpage is translated into 75 different languages ~

~ Collectively, more then 700 billion minutes are spent on Facebook every month ~

~ Last month the site accounted for 1 out of 4 American page views~

~ Facebook's membership is currently growing at a rate of about 700,000 people a day ~

There is no doubt that Facebook has changed the way we relate to one another.  Can you imagine a world without checking status updates and viewing people's uploaded pictures?  Through Facebook we are able to get a glimpse into someone's life without actually speaking to them.

As I have mentioned before, I am a Facebook-Addict.  I can't remember the last time I went a day without visiting my favorite website.  I update my status virtually everyday, and some days I update multiple times. 

Looking back through my status posts from the last year is like getting a glimpse into what went on in my life during 2010.  As I have said before, I use my updates more of a journal/chronicle of my life.  While people used to write things down on paper, I do it electronically through Facebook (and now this little blog).

Check out my "collage" or highlights from a Year-in-Sarah

In one year, I: loved my job, hated my job, lost my job, enjoyed FUNemployment, despised unemployment, interviewed a lot, got a NEW job, and fell in love with the job I now have.

I: felt blessed for my fabulous friends and family, drank (and was hungover), ate, celebrated (holidays/birthdays/Sunday Fundays), danced, laughed, loved, experienced heartbreak, and went on vacations/trips (Vegas MANY times, Baltimore, San Diego, wine country, and the list goes on).  
 

The top 10 words that I used in my status this year are:
1. Happy (42 times)
2. Weekend (29 times)
3. Friends (29 times)
4. Love (24 times)
5. Vegas (23 times)
6. Night (23 times)
7. Can't (22 times)
8. Please (20 times)
9. Fun (18 times)
10. Dinner (18 times)

I find that these ten words are a very accurate in describing me this past year. It's crazy how much a few words can say about a person.  It's been an interesting year, and DEF one filled with changes and transitions.  It's been an unusually tough year, and although I had some fabulous moments I am looking forward to seeing what 2011 has in store!

Giving Thanks: Day #1

One of my best friends posted a great suggestion on her Facebook yesterday.  For the rest of the month she is going to post something she's thankful for.  Something different each day.

I really liked this idea....ALOT! I think we get so caught up in our daily lives and forget to take a moment and reflect on what's important.  I know this happens to me all the time! By recognizing something you're thankful for each day it lets us appreciate the little (or not so little) things and people who are important and grace our lives.

So my dearest friend, I hope you don't mind that I'm borrowing your idea. 

For the rest of the month (or at least until Thanksgiving) I too will post what I am thankful for.  Something different each day.

What I'm Thankful For #1

Today I'm thankful for my friends.
I am very blessed to have some fabulous friends in my life right now.
 Friends who are there for me through good times and bad. 
Friends who will be honest with me and will "tell it like it is"
even if it's hard for me to hear.
Friends who can make me laugh as well as make me cry.
Friends who are more like members of my family, and who I consider my sisters.
Love you wonderful, amazing, ladies!!!

I AM TRULY BLESSED!

Facebook is my CRACK

Ok, I'm the first to admit it.  I'm addicted to Facebook.  It's like crack to me.  I check it when I wake up, I check it before I go to bed.  I check it every time it bing-bongs at me and alerts me that someone has: posted on my wall, liked my status, tagged me in a picture, commented on one of my pictures, etc.  And really who am I kidding? By having my other addiction (my iPhone) it allows me to have a Facebook App where I click the button more times daily then I can count. 

I'm the queen of taking pictures (and then posting them within 24-hours on Facebook).  My friends call me the "historian" of the group because whenever a moment needs to be captured, there I am with my camera.  But just as often as they ask me to take a picture, they also come with the warning of, "You better not post the picture on Facebook Sarah" or "You can post it, just don't tag me" or even "Can you create a blocked/locked album so I can see the pix but no one else can?"  I always oblige.

People ask me why I like Facebook so much.  I guess I don't have a specific answer.  I use my status updates more as a journal of my life, for myself.  I rarely post to get a reaction or a response from others (but if people comment, even better).  I like feeling connected to people, even if we're in different parts of the world.  I enjoy seeing people's photos, and love seeing my friend's children grow-up. I guess it appeases the "Jewish Mother" in me and my need to be a yenta (Yiddish for a busy-body). 

I have joked with a few of my friends from High School that there really is no need for our 10-year reunion next year (YIKES!!!). We all know what each other are up to via our Facebook pages and updates.  So with that said, I know I'm not the only one out there who has a Facebook addiction.

While making my daily rounds of my favorite news websites today, an article about Facebook caught my eye.  The article was titled 6 Things You Should Never Reveal on Facebook. They suggested that you NEVER REVEAL:

• Your Birthdate and Place
• You've basically just given identity thieves a key to stealing your financial life. A study done by Carnegie Mellon showed that a date and place of birth could be used to predict most — and sometimes all — of the numbers in your Social Security number.
• Your Vacation Plans
• By posting flights, arrivals and departures, locations and pictures it's pretty much giving criminals an open invite by telling them specifically when you'll be gone.
• Your Home Address
• Well this just seems OBVIOUS!  But suprisingly some 40%  of FB users listed their home address on their sites; 65% didn't even attempt to block out strangers with privacy settings. And 60% said they weren't confident that their "friends" were really just people they know.
• Any Confessionals
•  Employers commonly peruse social networking sites to determine who to hire — and, sometimes, who to fire. One study done last year estimated that 8% of companies fired someone for "misuse" of social media.
• Password Clues
• If you've got online accounts, you've probably answered a dozen different security questions (your Mom's maiden name; the street you lived on as a child; or the name of your favorite song). Got that same stuff on the information page of your Facebook profile? You're giving crooks an easy way to guess your passwords.
• Any Risky Behavior You May Partake In
• Insurers are increasingly turning to the web to figure out whether their applicants and customers are putting their lives or property at risk, according to Insure.com.  So you may like to go heli-skiing, or you may like to race your motorcycle at high speeds. You just may want to consider twice before posting it on your Facebook.  

TO READ THE COMPLETE ARTICLE ABOUT THE

"6 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER REVEAL ON FACEBOOK" CLICK HERE 

 Some of the articles advice seems pretty obvious to me.  And I follow the majority of those guidelines to a "t". I guess I need to be a little bit more observant about posting my whereabouts when I'm out of town though.  One of my best pieces of advice for Facebook users is check your privacy settings on a regular basis.  Facebook makes changes to those settings, and doesn't necessarily inform their users.  If you haven't checked recently, there's a very good chance that your information is set to "Everyone" meaning anyone can see your posts, your pictures, and whatever your friends post. Last week, one of my friends was changing his 13 year-old son's settings (someone had found out his son's password and had "friended" all sorts of random people).  He didn't know how to do it and called me for help. Another piece of advice I offered was that even though the privacy setting of "Friends of Friends" sounds secure, in fact everyone can be a friend-of-a-friend.  Better just keep it as "Friends Only".

So with that said, I wish you all happy Facebooking. I know that I'm about to feed my addiction, log on, and post this very blog,  After all, it's been a solid three hours since I've logged on last and I'm going through withdrawals.